Tough Headlines Breed Tough Conversations
Being a parent is tough stuff, but when it comes to explaining tragic events, it’s never tougher. I do a lot of things to protect my kids. I try to make sure they have their fruits and veggies; I try to make them play outside more than inside with video games; and I try to make sure the news is never on when my youngest kiddos are in the room. 
To me there is nothing more R-rated than the nightly news. However, I have a 6th grader this year, and he needs to know what’s happening in the world. So, I do my best to explain the actions of others, no matter how hateful they can be. I strive to get the perfect balance of honesty and shelter that I can muster for my babies, but the truth is, the dark headlines come at kids in places we cannot control, and we do need to prepare them for the world that can be out there. If I’m honest, I know that my kids are sheltered from many of the harsh realities millions of kids face every day, and I want them to appreciate that too. But finding that balance can be difficult.
As a parent, I approach each tragic headline and harsh event differently. I try to meet my kids at their level, and I try to do as little damage to their open minds as I can. When my boys were both in lower elementary, their fifth grade friends seemed to have all of the gory details of every news story, so I found myself intercepting some incredible misunderstandings. The early questions of violence were related to what they were learning in class or what went on around them. Our district has routine active shooter drills, and our incredible elementary teachers guide them through each one. The real code red situation my district suffered forced my oldest into a place of hiding when he was in Kindergarten. 
That was a wake up call for our family in so many ways. How do we explain such evil? My husband and I tried to put into words what happens when someone is mentally ill, and the fact that we have drills and classroom training scenarios for this kind of thing so that we can be prepared.
National events that have occurred in the past seem unreal to all of my children, so explaining something like 9/11 was more textbook than emotion. 
However, this summer, our country suffered some intense loss. The Disney World tragedy is something I cannot fully think about for too long. The sadness of the event mixed with the insensitive reactions of some people regarding parenting blend together to be the biggest heartbreak. My 6th grade son was in the emergency room for a broken toe the day after the Orlando nightclub massacre. The TV was securely locked on CNN’s coverage of the event in the hospital room. He and I had about two hours to wait, so we began to dialogue about this. I tried to hold it together and not cry for these people and their families, but I tried to explain the sickness it takes for someone to hate others so much. It’s a rare kind of sickness, and we don’t see it often, but when we do, we do our best to keep ourselves and our fellow humans safe. And we pray. Overall, religion and the belief in a higher power actually aids me in helping them understand some of these unspeakable acts. I know our beliefs differ from others, but it is a tremendous way for us to cope.
As a teacher, I try to educate myself about current events so that I can help my students understand what is happening. It is my role as an educator to help them work through events as objectively as possible. I think this is very difficult, but my students are in high school, and they have been exposed to this kind of cruelty by way of their studies, their books, and their exposure to the news.
I made mention earlier that there are realities many youth have to face each day to which my children are fortunately not exposed.
Abuse, neglect, witness to unspeakable things, etc. I recognize this privilege, and I try to delicately discuss it with my children. I want them to know that others suffer a great deal to try and be happy for way less. I want my kids to have a desire to give back and help their fellow man or woman. I have no idea if it is working, but I couple this with discussing rough headlines, because I don’t want my kids to be ignorant of their world. I also don’t ever want them to discount another human being because of circumstance. We’ll see how it goes. We are very interested in how other parents deal with the tough headlines. Please send us an email at tessa@familyfootnote.com or comment on our Facebook page. Thank you for reading!