Breaking Character

breaking-ch1Moms have to be strict, women have to be professional, and friends have to be good. I agree with all of the above, however sometimes breaking character and just letting loose a bit feels wonderful. It could be singing karaoke style in the car or deviating from the established bedtime routine to enjoy S’mores or a late night Scooby-Doo cartoon.

Breaking character is a chance to be my true self, and let the silly and irritated side show more than the always in control version. I probably break character more than I know, but not realizing it might be half the fun. Going off script and making my kids giggle, when they should be concentrating, can be refreshing, while breaking character with friends helps me be a better mom and person.

As A Mom

2016-02-02-004I pride myself on sticking to a pretty structured routine with my kiddos. We eat three square meals a day, enjoy snacks at specific times, and have a pretty rock solid bedtime procedure. Nap time is sacred and non-negotiable. Staying organized and in a routine keeps my household in half-way decent condition and allows me to maintain part-time employment. My children also get adequate rest, full stomachs, and they know what to expect from me on a daily basis.

It is fun to announce every now and then that we are skipping baths in favor of a movie night. Or letting the kids stay up well past bedtime, on a school night, because they are having fun in the backyard. The joy and snuggles that come with breaking character and being a cool mom are magical moments. I wish they could happen more, but if they did, they would not be so memorable, they would also lead to chaos.

The bigger problem with me breaking character is the entitlement I feel with it. Since 90% of the time I am the sole being dictating the routine for my kids, I feel like I should get to break character more often. I want first dibs on being the hip one, the one who gets to change things up and offer entertainment that takes precedence over homework and finishing one’s veggies.

breaking-ch3However, it rarely seems to work that way. My husband is the fun one, and then if you throw in awesome grandparents, cool uncles, a sweet aunt, plus wonderful family friends and the occasional babysitter…there are just too many other people available to spice up our schedule. It is a blessing for sure, but it also means breaking out of my scheduled mom persona, in front of the kids, has to happen in other ways because all of the above mentioned people have a good handle on spoiling my kids with too much ice cream, late nights filled with more playtime, and shortened naps.

I can be a pretty serious person, and I tend to worry too much. However, a big way that I break out of my mothering character with my kiddos is by being silly. I sing in the car a lot. I don’t have a good voice, and I don’t do a great job of screening the music we listen to. Trust me when I say, life is too short to not sing Pink at the top of your lungs with your preschooler. My oldest really likes Rihanna, so I encourage her to belt it out on the duets with Eminem when they are blasted on the radio.

Is it perfect parenting? No.

But is it that bad? I am going to (again) say No.

breaking-ch-2Sure, sometimes I have had some explaining to do regarding jam sessions featuring the lyrical genius that is Macklemore, but motherhood is a work in progress. Also, I remember my parents letting me listen to their cassette tape of the Pointer Sisters on constant repeat with no real censorship. “I’m So Excited” was my tune, and I sang along to it on a daily basis . I never once, as a child, wondered what the singer was excited about, but now as an adult (and after checking the lyrics on-line) I do understand risqué foreplay was happening in the chorus. Either way, I maintain that I turned out just fine.

As a Friend

Breaking character is the ultimate in friendship. My favorite quote ever is: “A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway” by Christi Mary Warner. It is actually on a magnet on my fridge. I got the magnet from one of my best friends during our college years, and I have saved it through all of my life moments and moves.

breaking-ch4It is always important to be polite and considerate, but it is fantastic when you can let your guard down and vent to a friend. I am not talking about gossip or shame bashing, just venting. Specifically those occasions to express your anger or displeasure to someone, but have them still know that you are a relatively good person. Friends that can handle another friend’s venting and even reciprocate it are the best kind of friends.

Parenthood, marriage, relationships, and work/life balance are all complicated, even when they are great. Having a true friend, that knows when to listen and nod along as you swear too much and be a bit inappropriate is amazing. I am surrounded by fantastic people, some from high school, some from college, some from work, and some from my mommy network. They are all wonderful and hopefully they never hold it against me when I break character from being sensible and go a bit off the rails because the washer repair guy stood me up or my husband was late and forgot how to text.

breaking-ch5I am okay with not being perfect. I am also okay with not coming off right 100% of the time to people. As long as my kids, my family, and my friends know me, and still like me…I can be okay with breaking character and putting on a silly or irritated face in order to burn off energy and get back on track to being a better version of myself.

How do you break character? Or a better question may be…do you ever break character at work, at home, or in the carpool lane? Let us know by leaving a comment or sending an email to kelly@familyfootnote.com

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