Finding More Balance in 2017

I am not super great about making New Year’s Resolutions, but this year I am putting it down in writing that I am going to work hard to find more balance in my life, my daily schedule, and my overall demeanor for 2017.

Have you seen the meme or heard the following slogan?:

“Life is short. Take the trip. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake.”

I have a love and hate relationship with this mantra because on one hand, I really like the idea of just going for it and not over-thinking every little decision. Plus rewarding oneself feels wonderful. But, I also roll my eyes at this motto because if we all live by it, then who is going to be in charge and be logical? I can agree with everyone that life is short, but I also find it so irritating when the acts of general responsibility and fulfilling obligations go by the wayside because of the reasoning that tomorrow is not a guarantee.

Another hang-up for me with this type of saying is that it does not take into account the reality we all must live in…which to me means I need to follow the rules, work hard, take care of my kiddos, be fiscally responsible, and on the whole be a reasonable human being. If a person is always validating a vacation or dessert or a shopping spree, is it really valued? I know that I appreciate the things I get to do once in awhile way more than the stuff I do on a regular basis. If I ate dessert after every single meal, it would in no way taste as delicious as it does on those fun occasions when I make an ice cream run with the family or order carrot cake at a restaurant. Trips are memorable because they typically happen once or twice a year for me. They are also something to look forward to, which is almost as much fun as going on the actual vacation.

If we take every reward on impulse, then there is no anticipation.

That is why for me, in regards to 2017, it is all going to come down to balance and sensibility. I want to have more fun, but I also want to remember that being scheduled and responsible leads to a lot of great moments in my life.

Balancing my mood is a work in progress for me (and probably every single parent in the world). I have the bad personality habit of being overly calm at times and then flipping a switch to the stressed out mad hatter of my household. I must work on counting to ten (or 100) before discussing situations that involve my kids making huge messes, not listening, and being crazy for no reason at all. Finding the balance of a steady hand and clear head will go a long way in solving sibling disputes and my overall irritation at having to witness toddler tantrums. The flip side of trying to be more zen, includes the balanced thinking of not riddling myself with parental shame when I do raise my voice, discipline my children, or roll my eyes in frustration. My kids are not perfect, my husband is not perfect, and most importantly, I am not perfect. So I need to find a balance that gives us all a break when necessary, myself included.

I cringe to even discuss work life balance because that is definitely something better meant for its very own blog topic. So briefly, for 2017 and in the spirit of trying for a more even keeled existence, I want part of this year’s resolution to focus on being better at my work life balance. Freelance writing is a pretty small fraction of my day especially in the grand scheme of a weekly routine that includes grocery shopping, cleaning, getting kids to school, entertaining a three-year-old, running miscellaneous errands, trying to get to the gym, etc. I want to be writing more, but that it not always realistic with my stay at home mom duties.

It is nobody’s fault as I love all of the roles in my life (maybe not the cleaning, but again, we must have balance, because I do really enjoy going to Target!). When it comes to my work and daily life, I need to remember that I chose these paths. Even during the times when it would be really easy to blame my kids for not finishing an article re-write due to them being too loud and fighting over missing Lego pieces. I also must learn to let go of the constant mom guilt I feel when I work on the laptop and somewhat ignore my kiddos and make them responsible for their own fun. Our house has plenty of toys, coloring books, puzzles, and board games to keep any age child ecstatic, so my kids will survive. They will not end up on Dr. Phil’s couch just because I edited an article while they built race tracks in my peripheral vision or played with Shopkins among themselves. Plus my little ones have built-in playmates via their siblings, so if I could just quit feeling so bad about taking a teeny tiny bit of focus off of them and putting it towards work for 2017, that would be wonderful.

Balancing fun with responsibility, trying to stay more level headed when things are chaotic, and continuing to work on the balance of writing, parenting, and living a full life are my objectives.

I feel like I am already off to a good start with this resolution because I know that some days are going to be great and some are going to be bad. There will be times I will have to pull up my big girl leggings and complete the not-so-fun stuff. While on other occasions, in the right context, I will definitely be okay to: “Take the trip. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake.”

Finding the near perfect balance for it all is my goal and my challenge for 2017.