In Defense of Motherhood

Hello. My name is Tessa. I’m a 38 year old mom of three who drives a minivan, can only stay awake until 9 pm on a good night, and my favorite companions are the three 12-and-unders I’m raising. Basically, I am everything I swore I wouldn’t be during my rebellious years.

Rebel? I think not

Let’s be honest. I have always lived in the Midwest; I’ve been responsibly considering my perfect tattoo for twenty years; and I don’t enjoy roller coasters or fast moving vehicles like jet skis or motorcycles. I’ve never been the traditional definition of a rebel. Yet, I remember swearing up and down to my friends that I’d never be content in a minivan, and I would certainly have a much more rock-star life than being captain of my kids’ big red taxi. What I’d like to go back and tell teenage Tessa is: “This stereotypical mom life is pretty great. I wouldn’t change any of these mommy-isms for anything.” Instead of looking at what motherhood has done TO me, I prefer to look at what it has done for me because these kiddos are pretty great.

Kids are a good time

For one, my kids are super smart and teach me things about love, compassion, and curiosity every day. Talking with them is fun, and I am amazed I get to spend my life with such fantastic humans. The other day I found a sweet letter hidden under my covers from two of my kids. It had a kind message from my daughter, illustrated by my son. The week before I was able to go for a run with my oldest. As a twelve-year-old, he keeps his cards pretty close to his chest, but when we run or walk on our own, we have the best conversations. I used to rock out in the car with my friends, well, it’s no different now. My singing partners just happen to be my kids.

Minivan but mega fun

As for my minivan, I could live in it if I really needed to. I can plug in a mini fridge, and I have enough room for a Tessa-sized bed. In addition, it aids in raising my children. The kids aren’t always delightfully well-behaved, and much like bike racks outside of any school, my children oftentimes work out their issues without my knowledge all the way in the back of the van. The seats are like a Cadillac’s, and I really feel like a captain of this big red ship.

Sweet sleep

My 9 o’clock bedtime is just smart living. Although my consciousness is not a choice anymore –anytime I relax to watch a show with my family for longer than 10-15 minutes, I’m fast asleep–I’d much rather feel great in the morning than at night. That has definitely changed with age. My husband and I escaped downtown by ourselves a few months ago. It was about 9 o’clock and we needed to relieve the babysitter, but the band was so good, and many patrons in the establishment started dancing. Well, most of us thirty-somethings that is. From the dance floor, I looked behind me and saw the younger, beautiful people sitting and relaxing, not feeling the music at all. I asked my husband, “What’s wrong with these guys?” He replied, “They just got here. It’s 9 pm. Their night is just starting.” Oh, right. It’s not bedtime for the youth; it’s go time. How exhausting.  I was actually fine with our night winding down. In my mommy-dom, I realize sleep is a sweet, sweet gift, and I can leave the nightlife happily to the twenty-somethings.

Perspective

I may be everything I swore I’d never be back when I came alive at 9 pm and my biggest worry was my homework, my roommates, and which party was the better one, but what teenage Tessa didn’t know is how great it feels to be loved unconditionally (my children) to love something unconditionally (my minivan) and to fall asleep content with the fact that life is beautiful. Age not only gives us perspective, but it also gives us everything we never knew we needed.