Three Small Ways to Bond with Your Kids

Kids don’t need major vacations, expensive indulgences, or wild adventures to feel loved and fulfilled. They just need YOU. Your attention to them matters. Your conversation with them is priceless. Now, more than ever, we need to slow it down and really focus on our families.

Give them some power

If you’ve been a parent of a two-year-old or a teenager, you know the magic that exists when kids feel like they have even a little control. It’s why being a line leader is so cool in elementary or having your very own window control in the car screams power. Because the window thing drives me crazy, I look for different ways that are fun for us all.

My kids and I have a long commute to work and school, so we’ve been using our Bluetooth and Amazon Prime to play deejay. When we do this, each kid gets a turn and so do I. My older kids type in the requests while I drive, and we enjoy different melodies. Not only do my kids feel validated in their choices, but we also get into great conversations about genre, song meaning, and musical talent. My daughter’s choices range from Rachel Patten’s Fight Song to Khalid’s Young, Dumb, and Broke. My middle is an Imagine Dragons fanatic, and my 13-year-old will choose Hank Williams Jr. over any other singer every time.

Another way to give your kids some control is in the kitchen. Let them design the menu for your week. Try to work with them while they build it in order to get the food groups covered. This activity transcends age. My 13-year-old chose the menu this week. When he got home from football, he was delightfully surprised that the quesadillas were ready to go just like he requested. He won because we had the meal he designed, and I won because I got out of making a menu for the week. My middle gets next week. We’ll see what he designs. 

Find small ways to just be with them

Find time to spend with each kid individually if you can. This doesn’t need to be a long time. Go for a walk with just one child, ask your youngest to help you in the garden, take only one kid out to eat, or have one of them help you cook. These small activities can pay off majorly. With each individual activity, there is so much opportunity to catch up on their day, their questions, and their desires. Had I not taken my daughter on our walks this week, I would have missed questions like, “Mom, what was the first stuffed animal ever made? What was her name?” –From what we can find, the oldest stuffed animal ever made was a teddy bear from Germany, name unknown. “Mom, what about the first pet. Who had the first pet in the entire world? Was it God?” While these questions are impossible, we had so much fun deciding who we thought God would choose as his pet. 

If solo time isn’t an option, we try board games with the family, or an art activity to unplug and slow life down a bit. I teach 14-20 year-olds, and I can confirm that they want to spend this time with their parents. It’s rare to see faces up from phones or parents away from computers. If we can find small ways to have uninterrupted conversations with our kids, our relationship grows and so does their assurance that their opinions matter.

Document your time

Every once in awhile, take a picture or two of your time with each child. Collect them in a folder, print them out, make a photo book, or frame them. You’ll have beautiful documentation of your time together, and you can laugh and smile about the memories throughout the years. If your child is younger, have them write or draw about their favorite occasions with you. This type of “proof of fun” will be the gifts that keep giving throughout both of your lives.

These small activities will pay off in huge dividends. How do you make your kids feel special? Please share with our Footnote community.