Combating the Mid-School-Year Slump

‘Tis the season for the mid-year lull not only in our homes but also in school. The honeymoon period is over, and while teachers enjoy knowing the kids better than they did in August, students can sometimes have a hard time mustering up motivation for second semester. Although my own children do well in school, all three have struggled here or there with a class or two, behavior, and motivation. There are many ways parents can help, and most of them include being in sync with the child’s teacher or teachers and reminding kids of their academic goals. 

Talk to the Teacher

If my kids struggled in lower elementary, I knew about it right away from the amazing teachers they had. One kid struggled with behavior, another with math, and the other with reading. During conferences, the teachers and I were able to work out a plan for extra help at school, and in turn, I used that as an opportunity to improve at home. It wasn’t always met with cheers and fireworks from my littles, but knowing that their teachers and I were in sync with each other made it easier for them to bust out of their slump. Today, if problems or questions arise, I encourage my kids to communicate with their teachers. If they still need my help after practicing these important life skills on their own, I step in with an email or phone call. Teachers are with our kids almost as much as we are. They want to help, and they are a valuable resource to parents.

Consider Rewards

I’m also not above rewards when times get tough. I am more likely to achieve my goals if I’m able to see a benefit at my age, and elementary kids are no different. Gaining a skating trip, a movie, or night out at their favorite restaurant in return for a good grade or improved classroom behavior is a huge motivator. We try to go to the reward system before any punitive measures because it works better for our kids. And boy can they remember some social studies flash cards if a big juicy burger awaits them. The trick for us has been to remind them of their end goals. Good grades lead to amazing things in the future. We try to keep their eyes on the prize. 

 

Punitive Measures

Our kids are pretty responsive to the reward system, however, there have been a few times where we just couldn’t get our children to make better choices at school no matter what we promised. That child felt the intoxicating power of the peer laugh, and he or she would do anything to get it. (It’s also why he/she is hard to discipline at home. So. dang. funny.) But the disruption to the classroom was unacceptable. No amount of grounding mattered to him/her because he/she didn’t mind spending time at home. So, the next best thing we could assume he or she needed was an earlier bedtime. It must be sleep, after all, keeping him or her from making good choices. The stigma of an earlier bedtime to a socially aware kid worked WONDERS. That, and maturing from one year to the next. This year he or she is way more successful in knowing when to get attention and what kind is the right kind.

What About Older Kids?

I teach high school, and I want to make this clear: PARENTS STILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. I can tell when a kid has been grounded from his or her phone, has big plans on a particular weekend and is home-bound until a grade comes up, or needs parents to stop bothering said child about a grade or two. During these high-stakes moments for my students, they come straight up to me, discuss their grade eyeball-to-eyeball, and have gallons of motivation they didn’t have all year. All because a parent got up in their business about succeeding in a class. Plus with online resources, it’s now easier than ever to track a grade. Yes, this can set kids up for a little anxiety, but they don’t have to know every time a parent check their grades. As long as they know it could happen, their awareness is up and usually, so are their grades.

Have Them Talk To The Teacher

In my experience as a parent, most of my children’s teachers email or call home when assistance is needed, but parents making the first move is just as appropriate. Time spent in middle and high school is preparation for the bumps and obstacles awaiting them in their professions. If my middle schooler is struggling in a class, the first thing I do is have him go into the teacher or send an email. Right there, he is showing motivation to learn and do better. If that doesn’t work, and he and I are both still confused on how to succeed in a class, then I send a follow-up email with questions. My son will do nearly anything to make sure his mom doesn’t email a teacher for him. By encouraging him to reach out on his own, he is learning to advocate for himself, to have a conversation with a professional, and to gain understanding to overcome an obstacle. If your children are in middle school or above, make that child be the one who asks a teacher about a grade politely, and pretty soon, they’ll be doing that without your encouragement. 

Request a Meeting

In the upper grades, the reward system still works for motivated kids, but sometimes, the young adults lose major confidence if a subject in school never improves. Punitive measures may not be the answer in this scenario either. (Although nothing motivates them like being grounded from their phone. Trust me.) In that case, parents need the school holy trinity. Parent-teacher-kid. If all three are working to sort out where the hold-up is, there is no way to fail a class that is developmentally appropriate for the child. And really, it still comes down to the child who has an involved parent. Parents can request a meeting with a teacher or a counselor to work on a solution that is tailor made for the child. In the end, everyone wants the kids to succeed. Everyone just needs to get on the same page. 

Nothing Replaces the Parent

While I can no longer help ⅔ of my children with math, and I only remember so much about the 1800s, I can still sit beside my kids as they power through material. It’s not easy, but overcoming some of the motivational setbacks will make their rewards that much sweeter.

As a teacher and mom, I would say the parent-kid partnership is irreplaceable in terms of classroom success. We all lose a little motivation in the winter, but with a team of invested stakeholders, our children will find way more success in powering through and ending the year strong!

What are your tricks for keeping your children’s motivation high? We’d love to know!