“You’re Over-Protective, Mom!”
“Mom, you’re over-protective.” I heard mustered from the backseat. It was my 11-year-old son in full-on complaint mode.
“Well, it took a lot to get you in this world, so I’m trying to keep you alive and healthy in it, sweetie.”
This made him giggle, but I knew he wasn’t done with me. The thing is when my kids call me over-protective or “strict” I don’t mind. They’re not wrong, and I feel justified in the way I parent. There are areas in my parenting where I feel like I fall short. My kids argue (and in public no less) and I forget pajama days, but when it comes to being strict, I feel no reason to apologize.
My middle schooler elaborated from the mini-van cheap seats on how he sees me as over-protective. I don’t think I’m alone here, mom friends, so please comment if you do these things, too.
You don’t let us stay at anyone’s house you haven’t met.”
This one is true. My husband is probably worse than I am about this (we joke he needs a blood sample from each new parent/kid), but there are so many people in this world and not all of them think about their kids first. I have been so lucky in the collection of parents who entertain, feed, and drive my kids to events. However, letting new people do those things makes my heart skip. I love my little gremlins, and I can’t easily hand them over to perfect strangers.
If someone new wants a sleepover or a road trip, you better believe I’m looking into them. I ask teachers, fellow parents, and the internet sometimes. These are my babies, and I have to make sure I’m not sending them into harm’s way. I know I won’t always get it right, but we have to vet the people who get our kids for 12 plus hours. Who’s with me?
Our bedtime is too early and some of my friends don’t have them.”
My kids usually know better than to try to tell me that their friends get to do stuff they don’t. They’ve been trying that complaint since they were four, and I come back with the same response. “I am not their parents. I am your parent, and therefore, these are your rules.”
This bedtime struggle is real. My kids go to bed early because they get up early. We leave our house by 6:30 am for the day, sometimes not seeing our home for twelve hours. A well-rested teen or tween is difficult to come by, but I will do my darndest to make home a place of rest for them. They are working hard all day. The least I can do is help them figure out when it’s lights out.
My high schooler stays up the latest due to sports and homework, but the other two have nothing stopping them from a restful 8 + hours on most nights. Sleep is key to success in the classroom and sanity in life. You’re welcome, children. You just don’t know why yet.
You put parent locks on my phone and won’t let me get social media until I’m ancient.”
Social media is SO. HARD. I don’t understand it, and it terrifies me that the kids can be released to the entire public with a touch of a button. My youngest doesn’t have a phone yet (thank goodness), but my middle needs one to get to and from school in our city. We have a parent lock on his YouTube access and his apps. He has to get approval to download things. I am 100% FINE with this. I’m not sure what age will feel right to release him to the wolves but now is not that time. Thank goodness for websites like Parents.com that not only list parental lock options but also explain what they do. They help parents monitor the technological training wheels needed for kids who are learning the freight train of the internet.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love to spoil my kids every now and then. Even though “You’re too overprotective, mom,” are words I’ve heard for years, they don’t upset me, because at least they know I care. As a writing teacher, I have read papers of students who actually wish they had been given rules and regulations as younger kids. I find that kids crave the line. They crave structure.
Maybe I’m a little overboard at times with my diligence, but my kids will hopefully never question whether or not they were absolutely worth protecting. Too many kids go through life without feeling that. So, yes, my middle school darling, I will over-protect you as long as I’m alive because you and your brother and sister are worth it.
What about you? How do you find a good line when parenting? We’d love to know!