Wrestling Mamas, “How Do You Do It?”
Youth Wrestling Tournaments: So amazing and also incredibly scary for me as a mama. Too many questions and concerns streamed through my consciousness as a piece of my heart walked out on a mat, all alone, to grapple with an opponent.
Would he get hurt? Would he win? Would he lose? Would he be embarrassed? Is this crazy? Why am I letting him do this? Oh my goodness he did great, but now won’t the next match be harder? UGH the anxiety!
And now I am rambling and making this all about me, but as a parent it is intense to watch the sport of wrestling. Wrestling Mamas, “How do you do it?”
My seven-year-old just wrapped up his youth wrestling season. And it had ALL. OF. THE. FEELS.
Districts, regionals, and state landed on our calendar out of nowhere. It was so thrilling that I did not want the season to end, yet it left me gut-wrenched and nerve wracked.
The Mama Feels
My heart was in my throat the entire month of March. My husband rubbed his forehead raw from anticipation and anxiety. A wrestler just looks so alone during a match. Especially my wrestler, as a 58-pound first-grader. The whistle blows and all a parent can do is watch, cheer, and try not to cringe.
Who knew that ninety-second periods could be excruciatingly long while painfully short? After a match, should I rush in with the hug or hold back with the hand clap? Wrestling Mamas, asking for a friend, but “How do you do it?”
My Wrestler’s Feelings
This wrestling season started with my husband and me signing my child up for the minimum weekly club session. Then he wanted more, so we let him do the twice a week advanced practices. Still he wanted more, so we registered him for a tournament. Which he won and so began our voyage down the wrestling bunny hole.
I actually missed his first ever wrestling competition because I was coaching my daughter in basketball at the same time. To be honest, I was kind of okay with the absence because that first tourney had me worried. Every time I got a text update from my husband it would cause a stomach swirl of butterflies.
There was parental fear that my son would not wrestle well. There was also anxiety that he would do great and fall more in love with a sport that was completely foreign to his dad and me. Well, the latter happened. I went from being a no-show at his first competition to holding my Nikon camera with the extra zoom lens mat side at his last match.
I have watched a multitude of youth soccer matches, basketball games, cross country races, theater plays, softball doubleheaders, and the pain that is tee-ball. None of them hold a candle to the parental nerves of highs and lows that wrestling heaved on my brain. Those in the know—seriously, “How do you do it?”
The In-The-Moment Feelings
To see my young wrestler stand on the mat prior to a match with hands clasped and his chin raised in anticipation pinched my insides. He garnered a lot of wins, but there were losses too. And the losses crushed him. And they crushed me. Defeat can be hard to handle because wrestling is on such a grand display.
The sport is so emotional because there is nowhere to hide. One-on-one matches of facing down another kid in an attempt to outmaneuver or out-muscle can be agonizing to watch. Everyone is screaming from the stands and hoping stamina will stay strong and outlast everything.
As a parent my reaction flip-flopped when my child fell short in points or got pinned. I wasn’t ready for the tears associated with wrestling. From all age groups and all weight classes. Teardrops cascade because tons of emotions erupt during and after a match. My son was no exception. There were moments after losses that I wanted to say, “suck it up and be a good sport” while also yearning to let him crumble in my lap for comfort. I ask again to the wrestling mamas and papas, “How do you do it?”
The Family Feel of the Sport
My son usually rallied after a tough match, but it was still hard to see that magnified disappointment. Then I consider, if it is difficult now, how is it for wrestlers in middle school, high school, and college? A fellow parent told me she closes her eyes during matches, and I need to try it.
The realization that my kid is not as alone on the mat as he looks helped me. There is an abundant community of coaches, teammates, supporters, and more for all wrestlers. I saw it this past month in droves. For being an individualized sport, wrestling really packs a punch for camaraderie. The fans and families of wrestlers all feel the losses and experience the wins.
At the state competition my son wrestled only in the morning, but my family stayed all afternoon to see two girls from his team make history and advance. It seemed everyone, from everywhere, stayed until the finish to cheer on teammates.
End of Season Feels
Every parent worries, but watching my little one go out into the wrestling world to dominate or be dominated felt a bit like throwing him to the singlet wearing wolves. Thankfully our youth club took us in and made us part of the family. I have never been so happy to be out of my element because my son had a blast. Win or lose he keeps coming back for more and is already talking about next year.
I guess that overtime loss at state is already somewhat forgotten?
Wrestling season might’ve wrapped, but my son is still singing the praises of his teammates. His great-grandma was asking for details on his state tournament performance and all my child could talk about was how one of the girls on his team pinned everyone. My son, the ornery middle child extraordinaire, was in awe of his fellow wrestlers. This crazy tough sport has taught him empathy like no other endeavor. It floors me and I love it. Wrestling Mamas…is that how you do it?
The Feelings Make for Great Memories
My wrestler is still little and has so much to learn. It makes me wonder, will this sport always have him leak tears in sad irritation? And also cry in victory? And is that okay?
You know what I am going to ask, “How do you do it?”
As a wrestling mom, I am a work in progress. I will probably always struggle with how to react to my wrestler’s disappointment after a match. I hope he and I can find a consistent way to handle the highs and lows. Especially since little brother is already talking about being a wrestler too. Deep breath in–deep breath out, I got this…right?
Despite all of the questions, I do know that this sport is making lasting memories for my son and our family. Even if it turns out to only be this thing he did as a youngster, it has already been a highlight. I may not know what I am doing as a wrestling mom, but I will forever remember my son’s determined face while wearing his headgear and singlet.
Those memories are cemented forever.
