My Brothers, My Sons, & All of the Chaos and Fun

Screams from the back bedroom, followed by giggles, and then a loud crash is my household’s soundtrack thanks to my two little guys. This could also be the musical score from my childhood, since I grew up with no sisters and was outnumbered by boys.

Brothers are hard, but also wonderful. I have two brothers and am now raising two brothers. Both sets of males make me laugh out loud and simultaneously want to pull my hair out by the root. There is some crazy chemistry brewing when it comes to bros. The antics that can ensue between testosterone toting blood relatives is comical and cringe-worthy.

My Sons

I was blessed with daughters before receiving two sons and my organizational heart could not be happier. I have a decade under my belt of doing the “girl mom” thing and now the roller coaster ride of “boy mom” duties has started. Currently, I am on the steep incline part that is headed for multiple upside-down loops in terms of keeping up with my five-year-old and (almost) two-year-old son.

These little guys are rambunctious. My girls could have crafted for hours, while my boys must destruct anything and everything. Couch cushions and the kitchen stools are not safe when my sons have cabin fever. They go from sour to sweet in a millisecond. It is mind boggling! How can my older son love peas and pineapple one day and then exclaim that the fruit is  “too boring to eat” the next afternoon? Then why does his little brother copy him and also protest eating citrus? Pineapple is a lot of things, but it is never ever boring. Just ask Hawaii!

I have had to reprogram my parenting in order to navigate the journey that is raising brothers. Embracing chaos and letting the house stay dirty are big steps for me, but I am doing it for the love of these boys. My husband shakes his head a lot and laughs because he can relate. He had a brother and seems to encounter daily déjà vu while watching our sons grow.

My Brothers

I suffer from middle-child syndrome, but I also suffer from a lack of sisters. My brothers are amazing people and two of my closest friends…now. But, back in the day, this was never the case.  I remember being young and on a road trip in the summer. My family of five was piled in our Oldsmobile for the return journey home. My mom told our friends, “Kelly sits in the middle and reads, while the boys sit on each side and fight.”  It is because of my bros that I can read and tune out all other surrounding noises. This probably also explains why my parents are big readers and every mini-van on the planet now comes with built-in screens.

Growing up, the boys outnumbered me all of the time. Brothers wrestle. They love to be messy. Brothers do not understand the term “inside voices”. My brothers never embraced my logical and fair cleaning schedule during the summer before 5th grade. I often felt that the concept of “now it’s your turn” was lost on them.

All of my training as a sister unknowingly prepared me to be a “boy mom”. I understand the need to keep the little guys busy and distracted with high energy activities because my brothers always had to be doing something. Otherwise they got huffy and started plotting stuff, usually against me. If the dreaded “I’m bored” got uttered, then my mom would find things for us to clean.

My husband and I welcome the philosophy of staying busy with our boys. Hence our foray into: hockey, wrestling, and soccer. I also take a few plays from my mom and use cleaning as a punishment. If it worked for my brothers and me, it can work for this next generation.

Brotherly Love

Being patient with the impatience of brothers is another thing I am working on as a mom and a sister. Brothers can be the best of buddies, until one Lego piece goes missing. Then the West Side Story rivalry is on!

As an adult, I still find the role of sister and middle child to be a minefield. It is strange to recall despising my brothers as a child. I can still feel the anger in my chest that I felt as a pre-teen because one of them messed up my room. The time my older sibling made me pay him money in exchange for a ride to a friend’s house still makes me want to kick him in the shins. However, one of the best things about growing older is that siblings can bridge the age gaps and become true friends.

I look forward to my sons making countless brotherly memories together as children and adults. As grown-ups, my siblings go on an annual “guys only” trip together. They always come back with epic stories, that I get to hear all about (over, and over, and over again). The tales make me laugh and they also make me happy.

My sons and my brothers have the ability to drive me crazy like no other people on the planet. Yet, I would not trade these boys for anything. All of these brothers have helped shape me to be the person I am today.