My Many, Many, Many “Mom Fails”

Failing is a part of life and a staple of parenthood. There are great moms, good dads, and terrific parents. However, I firmly believe there is no such thing as the perfect parent.

Everyone fails in life. Yet, those mom fails seem to hit the hardest.

No Shoes, No Shirt, But Could We Please Still Get Some Service?

There was this one week a few summers ago that I made the mistake of presuming my kids could be fully dressed when leaving our house. It was insane and wrong of me to think so. We would be leaving for the library, grandma’s, or a restaurant and someone would always be sans sandals or shirt. One of my kids was barefoot to Target three times in one week.

That same week, another one of my offspring forgot to put on shoes when exiting our house. I did not discover the mistake until we were seated at a booth in Jimmy John’s. My daughter kept complaining about her “freezing feet” in the middle of June. I looked under the table in horror, and was just like “seriously”. The only thing that made it better, was that a family we knew walked into the restaurant a little after us and her middle child also had no shoes.

My crew is famous for forgetting water bottles for youth sport events or leaving bags of equipment on-site. My daughter forgot to wear shorts under her sweatpants one time for volleyball practice and I could not even be frustrated because I did the exact same thing…in college for an intramural basketball game. It seems my husband can never remember to make the kids brush their teeth or comb their hair. It is a forgetful and unending cycle.

Sometimes I get so busy keeping up with our schedule, that I dismiss the basic necessities of wearing shoes, brushing hair, washing face, etc. This translates to a mom failure for me. And when my children notice my mistakes, they are very good at constantly reminding me of the mishaps.

The “Suck It Up” Failure.

Tessa recently wrote about her misdiagnosis of appendicitis with her middle child. I nodded along with her words the whole time I was editing that piece because I have experienced that same failure of wanting my little ones to just “suck it up”. Last spring my preschooler complained of a headache as we drove to his soccer game. I could see the fields out my minivan window and basically mumbled something like, “That’s too bad honey, drink some water, and go run non-stop for 30 minutes.” Okay, I was not that oblivious, but I also was not super sympathetic.

My husband was out of town. We were en route to the game. My son seemed fine and had just been playing in the backyard so I figured he was okay. It was probably just minor exhaustion bringing on a headache, right? WRONG. My son played his whole game, scored some goals, and persevered at a much slower rate then his usual rowdy self.

Not Even French Fries Helped

I offered to buy him McDonald’s french fries on the way home to make up for the headache and tiredness. He said “sure”, his sisters screamed “Yes!”. We were just out of the drive-thru when my son puked all over himself and the car-seat. He was sick and I was wrong. The poor kid had played soccer and “sucked it up” because I was in too big of hurry to really talk to him about his physical well being. I still feel bad about this. But I also know that this is the life of kids. Full throttle one moment and then sick in bed the next.

I have four kiddos and three of them have fallen victim to the “suck it up” mom failure that is my life. With each child, I try to get better at slowing down and listening because failing them when they are sick is the worse.

Having to Think of Everything!

A lot of my mom failures can be contributed to carrying a heavy mental load. Based on research, I know I am not alone when it comes to trying to do it all. New parents and seasoned guardians can find it hard to manage never-ending tasks within a household. This 2017 Today Show Parenting Highlight’s video really resonated with me regarding the mental load of a household.

I have been that mom who plans a weekend away to a water park hotel and forgets her swimsuit. Diaper bags, that are essential to newborn survival, have been left at a grandparent’s house on my watch. My family used to be super punctual and now I feel like we are always pushing it to be on time, if not outright late. These types of mom failures really get to me. I know I can do better, but when little lives are depending on you for absolutely everything…stuff can fall through the cracks. Asking for help and going a little easier on oneself can help lighten that seriously heavy mental load.

Failure and Success

I thought this piece about mom failures would be depressing, but it was not. Because despite all of my many mom fails there are tons of success stories. It is a bias on my part, but I think my children are pretty great. My husband and I teach the pleases and thank-yous of life and try to pass along an empathetic nature to be considerate. We are also tough, raise our voices, and stick to our guns. This means we carry the label of mean parents now and again, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Everything we do for our kids comes from a good place and is done out of love and from learning through failures.

I mean, if you haven’t left your child’s absolute favorite stuffed animal at a hotel located over five hours away…can you really call yourself a parent?