My Dog’s Life and My Good-Bye

Good-byes can be hard. Especially those final farewells that mark the end of an era. I had a final goodbye occur that is still making my eyes sting with tears. Phoebe, our faithful Jack Russell Terrier, died in her sleep after a good long dog-life of over 14 years.

Phoebe’s death brings me a mixture of sadness, relief, and a whole lot of reflection. She was old, having accidents, and her back legs were beginning to splay out as she walked. Despite her geriatric condition, she was still my dog and it is hard to let go of her presence from my day-to-day routine.

My Puppy’s Arrival

My husband and I got Phoebe just after celebrating one year of marriage. We were living hours away from friends and family, working full time, and had no business owning a pet. Yet, we took the plunge and rescued Phoebe from a run-down house where an older gentleman was selling her out of a cardboard box.

She was tiny and undernourished, about the size of a bulky remote control. A bloated tummy and health problems plagued her immediately because she was taken away from her mother at too young of an age. The seller claimed Phoebe was eight weeks in age, but the vet we immediately visited after taking ownership said she could not have been more than one month old. Phoebe should have died that first week we had her, but instead she stayed with us for almost a decade and a half.

 

My husband and I got her on lifelong medicine and never looked back. She was physically fit as long as we gave her a morning regimen of powdered enzymes with her canned dog food. Phoebe became part of the family and was loved by so many: my parents, my brothers, my in-laws, and all of the life long friends we have made along the way. A lot of sad text messages have been exchanged because if you knew us, then you knew Phoebe.

The Canine Lessons of Life

My husband and I have always been good as a couple, but I feel like getting Phoebe made us great. We got so much better at being us and being responsible once Phoebe joined our humble abode. She turned us into a family unit and made us more mature, more committed, and just better all around adults.

Phoebe’s first visit to our hometown came when we had to travel back for the funeral of my husband’s best friend. He had died in a car accident. Our cute little pooch got some laughs out of some very sad young men who were all suffering a huge loss. She worked miracles on our grief by being an adorable puppy seeking attention.

The time she gobbled down our neighbor’s bird feed of sticky suet and was up all night puking gave me a glimpse into the life of dealing with kids and the flu. One occasion she went missing at my in-law’s river cabin for over an hour and I was so worried. Images of her being bait for dog fights kept going through my head. It turned out she was under the deck eating who knows what, which proved that even pre-kids I had a tendency to jump to the worst case scenario.

 

Phoebe was with my husband and me for so much. Every new job, each new house, and on dozens of road-trip adventures. She rested her head in my lap when I cried over multiple miscarriages. And she was laying on the couch beside me when my water broke during our first successful pregnancy. While Phoebe was always a bit put out by the babies we brought home from the hospital, she took the high road and welcomed them as part of our packaged life.

Our Dog

Phoebe belonged to me and my husband. The kids took ownership of her along the way, but she primarily connected with the two of us. I often called her my co-worker because I kept a dog bed near my home office. She would lay in it during working hours no matter how early or late. A year ago we rescued a mutt and that new pooch is really more of our kid’s dog. But, she was also Phoebe’s friend. It has been sad lately to watch her snoop around the house in hopes of finding her canine companion.

Phoebe has been a staple in my life for so long, that it is going to take awhile before I get acclimated to life without her. The majority of my twenties and thirties will forever be dubbed the “Phoebe Years”. She was the first living and breathing thing that I ever had sole possession of and she was fantastic. Phoebe never met a farmer’s market that did not adore her. Our epic mile long walks make up my absolute favorite newlywed memories. Phoebe got me to fall in love with the great outdoors and embrace a more active lifestyle. She took care of me, as much as I took care of her.

A Very Good “Good-Bye”

Phoebe was an amazing dog for us. I lost a lot of pets as a child, so seeing Phoebe make it past the ten year mark of life was a gift. She put up with our crazy, hectic household and was so much fun. Even in death she was faithful and considerate. My husband never comes home for lunch during the work week. Yet he happened to do just that on the day Phoebe passed. I was out visiting my grandma with my youngest, so the hard job of finding her fell to him.

 

Phoebe was resting in her basket and had to have just stopped breathing not long before my husband got home. It is like she knew it was the perfect time to go because he was there alone and she would not be upsetting me or the kids by her stillness. We took her to my in-law’s acreage and found her the perfect resting spot, all before the oldests got home from school.

Phoebe detested going to the vet. I was always worried about her being scared if we ever had to take her there to be put down. It is a blessing that she got to leave our family on her terms. She saved me from having to make that hard decision. Asleep in the comfort of her home was her favorite place, and that is where she was when she died.

We Love Our Pets

Tessa and I have written about pets in the past because these animals mean so much to us. If you are not a pet lover, this post probably seems crazy. However for me, our dogs are family. They are companions that drive us crazy while simultaneously bringing mountains of joy. Phoebe was an important part of our household. She will be missed, but the memories will never be gone.