Our Kids Will be Alright. They’ve Got “Good Bones”
The other night, my daughter and I were coming home from a friend’s house, and a beautiful country song came over the radio.
In the homestretch of the hard times, we took a hard left, and now we’re alright.”
These are the lyrics to The Bones by Maren Morris. The song is meant for a relationship, but it spoke to me as a mother raising a teen, a pre-teen, and a tween. Parenting is essentially providing our kids with good bones.
I have been a parent for a while now and one thing I know is that growing up today is hard. It’s hard on the parents and it’s hard on the kids. I’m sure our folks had it rough, too, but the intensity of life seems to come with freight train ferocity. SnapChat streaks, Netflix binge sessions, and Tweet rabbit holes are only a few of the things that stress me out as a parent today. It’s hard to get my bearings when the only technology I had growing up was a camera that produced negatives and my best friend’s Super Mario Brothers Nintendo. 
Today, the only thing that comforts me is that I have tried to give my babies a good foundation of faith and love. That is, they’ve got good bones to fall back on if any of these new stressors set them off balance. As a parent, finding my way in the dark in this new generation, I just have to believe this home base of love and support will be there when times get tough.
Faith
If you’re religious, then you know faith can solve all sorts of problems. It gives parents a place of guidance when things seem to spiral out of control. Questions like, “Mom, where do we go when we die?” and “If God loves us, why does he take away the people we love?” are easily redirected to religion for answers.
Faith has caught my children when I have failed them. When they see the news and hear terrible events have happened around them; when they’ve lost in some way that was bigger than a sporting event; and when they’ve questioned their purpose in life or anyone’s for that matter, faith has brought them through like a beacon of light.
Faith in hope and faith in the goodness of people can also comfort. Faith in the foundation of one’s upbringing may just help him or her through the dark parts of life. I plan to keep directing my children to the beauty they see, the playfulness that surrounds them, and encourage them to be that light and beauty for someone else.
Unconditional Love
When my children and my students struggle with their choices, I hope to catch them in the net of unconditional love. Our kids are going to make mistakes, and I want them to know that I will always love them, no matter what. Love is an essential part of the “good bones.” Part of my children’s foundation needs to be that they feel unconditionally loved so they aren’t afraid to come to me when life gets messy. 
Safe Space to Live and Breathe
Finally, I hope my ability to provide my children with a safe place to sleep, vent, and dream is a good enough landing pad when they get knocked back from the blows of life. When I think of giving my kids good bones, I think of our home. No matter the struggles, offenses, successes, or failures, my children will always have a place to rest their heads and speak their minds. I believe my job is to guide them in how to do these things productively and responsibly, but they have to have a place to practice. And I believe Maren Morris is right when she says, “The house won’t fall if the bones are good.”
When we worry about our kids, sometimes it’s helpful to remember that it is enough to know that they are loved, and they have a safe space to experiment and dream. What else goes into your family’s “bones” that comforts you when life gets crazy?