The Compliment of My Life
This past summer while at a sports bar and grill, in the midst of celebrating wins at youth state softball for my daughters, I got the compliment of my life.
It was not anything about my appearance or about my family. It was simply a parting comment of, “Well, you sure look happy.” The kind words made me smile. They also made me nod, because I am happy and honestly, that is all I want to be in life.
The pat on the back came from a guy I had not seen in approximately eighteen years. He worked at an insurance company where I had been an intern during my college summers. This individual was an incredible person and great mentor, but we knew each other before social media and had never stayed in touch.
When I first met him, he was the married one with the young kids. And now those kids are in college or beyond, and I was the one with little ones to chase and a spouse to introduce.
I was surprised this old co-worker recognized me almost two decades later. My hair is longer, my roots are darker, and there are now constant puffy circles under my eyes because unlike my four-year-old, I don’t get a daily nap. Thank goodness for sunglasses!
Turning forty and the evolution of life means changes. I was no longer that early twenty-something he once knew. Back then I was just an undergrad who was always a little nervous to climb high rooftops and look for hail damage on shingles. I looked forward to casual Fridays and wearing jeans at the office. My summer wages went towards some savings, but mostly fun times like happy hours and shopping at American Eagle.
I saw this former co-worker and his wife in a busy and loud place. It would have been so easy for him not to wave and get my attention and therefore obligate us both to small talk. He was probably just wanting to make sure he was right and that I was who he thought I was. Or perhaps he and his wife had a bet on if the lady directing dining assignments to a wild softball roster was really the old State Farm intern.
Either way, he completely made my day, if not my whole year by telling me I looked happy. He caught me on a fun afternoon as I was hanging with a large group of parents and kids. I looked gritty from smeared on sunscreen and probably smelled like underused Dove deodorant with a side of Bug Soother Natural Mosquito Spray. I am pretty sure my hair was smashed up under a ball cap. Counting heads and deciding between a burger or a salad was where my brain was at when I got called over to the man’s table and rehashed that last 216 months of my life.
Sometimes a little rehashing is good for me. I told the couple about my family’s multiple moves around the Midwest and our abundance of children. Four kids is a lot nowadays which I think makes us hold the label of “weird” and/or “crazy”. My spouse and I are known for our ability to divide and conquer and divide again in order to get every child to every activity. It felt good to brag about my kiddos and also throw out tidbits regarding my career switch from insurance to writing.
Also for someone, practically a stranger, to notice my happiness with my life in general was incredible. Because sometimes I forget to recognize it myself. The ability to smile and laugh and enjoy life is something I do not want to take for granted. And I know I need to be better about focusing on happiness.
I think every adult on the planet would like to obsess less about the sad and frustrating times. If we could all just be preschoolers with play times and daily snacks, life would officially be grand. Am I right?
This is not to say that I diminish or overlook my sad stories. Believe me, I have a lot of them. Everyone does. Grief, anger, heartaches, and frustrations take up too much space in my mind’s eye and heart. Don’t even get me started on the havoc of this pandemic! That is why choosing happiness, projecting good vibes, and trying to be happy really does influence me. I am not always 100% rocking this mindset, some days I am lucky to tip past the 12% mark. Yet, I swear I am always trying.
In the meantime, I will cherish the compliment and be proud of it. I loved hearing this genuine observation spoken out loud. To hear “you look happy” and agree with it made for a great moment.
The me of two decades ago would have never appreciated this type of admiration. That stage of my life had too much focus on superficial things and then later I worried mostly about my future as it pertained to jobs, careers, babies, and housing. While I don’t think I could have ever predicted where I’d be now in life, I do think twenty-something Kelly would be awed with the gifts of friends and family that this time holds. She would also be glad that I matured enough to take in the happiness and not rush right by it.
Because at the end of just about every day, I really am so happy with my direction in life. And that is a grateful thing.